QUESTION OF THE DAY

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WHY IS THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM CALLED A NERVOUS SYSTEM?

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Change

APC

According to Google, Change means to make or become different. The word ‘Change’ has become one of the most popular words in Nigeria especially since April 2015 elections, when the current ruling party, All Progressives Congress (APC) promised a change of things in Nigeria. What we did not know was whether the change would be Positive or Negative on Nigeria and Nigerians.
Barely one year, Nigeria has continually been bombarded with changes indeed from the sitting government.
So, can you say these changes are Positive or Negative? Why?

Vote my twin’s Artistry and get a free portrait!

Hello dear, please vote for my twin brother. He is an abstarct artist; an inkllustrator.
His name is Jidechukwu Uwaoma. You can check out his works on his Facebook page with the name above.

Pull in 50 votes and get a free portrait!! Offer is valid till April 2nd, 2016.

Click this link: http://pictureyourdream.ng/inspired/extra/inspiration-board/?search=Jidechukwu+uwaoma

You can vote on Facebook and Twitter

Vote and Share to your network

Thank you so so much

IS THIS YOUR CASANOVA?

Casanova!

That’s who you are

Here and there

No where!

Master of lusts

Mistresses adjoined

Wastrel!

Wasted my ardor on you

Seeking the face of all

Wanting the hand of null

Casanova, cast-all-over

When will you come to me again

Let me revel in your wastefulness

Just for a night

Drive through that nile

Let it cost a mile

Mine is worth the while

We would waste the night

And indulge the day

Do not delay

Come today

Tomorrow may be late

Come, my yeast is stirred

Cast your amorous net

knotted with lewd wordage

It’s all flamesmoke, I know,

Yet, will I indulge

Wild wantonness! excessive waste!

Squanderous Pauper!

After the moon,

You’re left with a mood

Same words you said to Ella

Same you speak to me now

I’ll be done with you before you’re gone

Done with your variegated dances

Why did I trade my heart to you?

Dilly-dally robber!

Woo me once more

I’m good at falling for you.

HOW CHEVRON TOUCHED MY LIFE

HOW CHEVRON TOUCHED MY LIFE  

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“No way! She definitely cannot be a staff of Chevron, Don’t you understand? Chevron is a big place for big big people, how possibly can someone so un-posh be part of this rich-man company? Haba!”

This was the soliloquy that took place on my first day at Chevron. One that quickly brings to mind the axiom, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I had woken up four times on the eve of my internship resumption. In between these times I kept looking at my pink clock, “Six am should not meet me at home. I have to be in Chevron before the mad traffic at the Chevron roundabout awakes”. When I could no longer bear waking up at intervals, I faced the bull, teared into the bathroom on 82 bps heartbeat and hurriedly wore my Christmas cloth. Make up was minimal, no plans to draw any special attention to my artistic talent talk less of my natural beauty (no, am not boasting). I practically dragged my mom out of her room to get in the car and by 6:30 am, we were already on our way. Within that short drive, Mom lectured me the umpteenth time, on my conduct before the Human Resource representative. Half of the lectures made it to my ear lobes the other half were ambushed by the worrying pendulum (louder than Dan Foster’s voice) in my heart. I just needed to be in Chevron, that’s all!

 By 8:00am I had checked in to Chevron and was seated at the reception area of the HR building; that was when my ordeal started. Let me quickly chip in one of my first observations: the yellow lines and the zebra crossing which I could write a full article on. I call it the guide-master. Those lines coordinate our movement within Chevron environment. It was one of Chevron’s safety precautions which on a lighter note, made us look like school children filing to the classroom only that there was no chant. It was a Nollywood sight to see Nigerians humbly trail only within those lines. Sure, anything is achievable. Even the way cars stopped before the Zebra crossing to allow people cross over is amazing. You could practically cat-walk while they waited. Try it outside! Finally, a young unassuming man walked up to us, by this time other interns had joined me. He introduced himself as Akin Ndubisi (not real name), I almost screamed!  You mean this…this chap has been the one giving me some tough time on phone? What?! I feigned a smile…only if he knew. Only if I knew we would later become friends and that he was even an intern whose internship would expire before mine. So Chevron employs this kind of people too? (I do not mean to sound rude but that is normally the perception about multinational firms). One would think Chevron like Accenture, would employ first class only, that wasn’t the case. What I saw was a mix of first class and mid-class brains, different religious expressions, young and old, calm and bold, queens-and-Pidging-English speaking, inward and outwardly beautiful people, students from high & low ranked Institutions, there was even someone who needed an aid to walk; all cultured by the Chevron Way.

After a while we were given a sort-of-an acceptance letter to read and append our signature, “…you will receive a monthly allowance of…” my eyes popped off their sockets! Six digits for internship?! Wake me up! Mind you, this was the first time I was going to be paid up to that amount as a BSc. holder talk less for internship, Mother Chevron! My signature became boisterous as the ink flowed faster and bolder. In my mind I pictured myself dropping my first fruit on the altar, totally grateful for this huge miracle. Yes, Chevron was and is a huge miracle for me, considering the countless unemployed qualified youths out there. Thank God for the internship exercise required by Pan Atlantic University after completing a Masters programme. By the time we were taken round the various onboarding processes, my make-up had abandoned me. Finally, i was introduced to my department. It was as if we had all been carefully selected at the Policy, Government and Public Affairs (PGPA) department. Want of formal words will fail me to describe the gentlemanly stylish & gorgoeus General Manager of PGPA, Mr. Deji Haastrup whom to me, seem to live by a “one word at time” axiom. The Communications Unit, headed by the amazing Reverend Sola Adebawo (the Pastor of Total Gospel Bible Church, Lekki) was my best experience. My amiable super – Mr. Olayiwola Adeniji was just too much, ah- ah!! Though, a male-dominated unit, I was pampered to bits by all apart from those who were able to detect my tom-boy traits. And how can i forget my loving ‘Mama’, Mrs. Nneka Ifejika aka NneGolden? With her i never ran out of breakfast supply and i could be myself. PGPA was indeed another family.

From my first step into Chevron environs, it was all about safety, health and energy. I was quickly introduced to materials that would help me acclimatize to the Chevron system. The Chevron Way: Vision, Values, Strategies; 10 Tenets of Operations and the Learning Management System which is an online training centre, were all so perfectly structured to reorient, inculcate, and imbibe a culture of safety, health and excellence in employees. It was a full acculturation programme. In Chevron, there are codes of conduct and clearly spelt out standard operating procedures for every task centered on safety. For Chevron, success is operating excellently with zero-incidence. You either do it right or not at all. It showed me that Chevron understood that although result is key for any Business, the processes for arriving at any result are crucial guarantors for formidable, resilient and admirable organizations. Fortunately this is my forte. Before Chevron, I had been opportune to work in 3 companies-a fast food business, an architectural firm and a media organization. The Quality Assurance control system in two of the three was incomparable with that of Chevron. My experience there had almost made me doubt the possibility of an effective and flexible staff welfare system in this side of the world. Although, Chevron’s Welfare system varies across employee status, it was substantial. And as a firm promoter of companies motivating staff through proficient staff welfare system, it was very easy for me to fall in love with Chevron. One of the policies I loved so much was the anti-harassment one. Being an omalicha, I felt protected and rewarded for my beauty and gender. It felt like a child with a Hulk Hogan-Dad. This was home for me. Furnished with these tools I decided to give my best to Chevron. I would resume work early and never closed until my task was done except at the insistence of my manager to go home early. I mean, where do you have a manager who advises his subordinates to close early in order to pay attention to other aspects of their lives? A place you resume at 7:30pm and actually close by 4:15pm? Where you can stop a task if the working conditions are not right or safe by exercising the Stop Work Authority? Tell me, would you not rather work with Chevron?

Truly, Chevron has touched my heart in several ways: I am safety-conscious and have become an enforcer of safety anywhere I go; at home, on the road, in a vehicle even when asleep. Thanks to trainings from Behavior Based System and Repetitive Stress Injury Guard. Even my twin brother has become a disciple of Safety First. My character has been developed through the E-Colour sessions. The E-Colour session is a self -development program that helps one discover his/her character strengths and weaknesses, learn how to maximize the strengths and transform the weaknesses into strengths to achieve the objectives of the business. As a red over blue, I have learnt to be a team player and successfully work with other colour combos.

As my internship curtain prepares to fall, I wish I could wish. Like a child leaving for boarding school the first time, I now duck and sulk on my way to work ignoring the once harmonic bird chirp that willfully sang to me every morning. The fresh-but-now-still air chokes my patched throat and wouldn’t let me swallow. My zips and buttons sensing an end of a bliss era, have initiated a difficulty-coup, I’m on my own now. My pinkie clock now ticks faster and before you know it, it’s 7:00am. “What’s wrong with you? I mumbled at the clock one day. The initially smooth and short drive has now deteriorated to a Lagos to Maiduguri voyage. My legs feel heavy and the white and green 16- seater buses I board to work seemed to all have flu, coughing at every pinch of the accelerator. Mtchewww…

Please Chevron, don’t let me go.

 

*OMALICHA- beautiful one

*FACED THE BULL – finally got up

*AH-AH! – an exclamation of wonder

*HABA – An exclamation like hia! Or wow!

(lolz)

 

MR. DEATH

I am here, you are there

I will reap, I will not sow

My leave is not without a soul

So gather ye before me, let me make my choice

Who is the fairest, the oldest, the richest, the poorest of you all

You! Yes you, You will go today!

Whirl your wind and file a suit if you like

I am yours and you are mine

We will marry today

Then exit tomorrow.